The True Experts

Life is short. Time seems to fly by. Lately, I find myself laser focused on making things happen with my business. I am in grind mode. Since the New Year, it has been on my mind and in my heart, to be more intentional about connecting with others. My goal is to be more present. I want to make time to pursue my curiosity about the human experience through relating to other people. I want to spend my time listening and learning. That is why CONNECTION is my 2020 word.  

So, I finally did a video on just that, connection with the older GENERATION. The true experts on life. That’s right, those who have lived in this world without the distractions, the tech and TV.  You will find yourself inspired and in awe of how very wise they are. You will find yourself gaining perspective by how simple they see the most important things in life. For example, my great aunt Angie (last of 8 siblings on my grandfather's side) is 94 year young.  Strongest woman I know. She’s outlived 2 husbands, she is still knitting and doing her thing. Her mind is sharp and clear. 

Two weeks ago, I made a conscious effort for my daughter Josi and I to connect with her.  Although we are 2000 miles apart, we made TIME to connect one Saturday morning. We sparked CONNECTION by asking 3 questions:

1. Do you remember where you were when Dr. Martin Luther King gave his speech, ‘I have a dream’?
2. What was it like when you were 7?
3. What advice would you give a 7-year-old today?

As Aunt Angie answered, Josi got a glimpse of what it might have been like to live in the 1930s.

What I thought was going to be a 15-minute conversation turned out to be an hour long.  Aunt Angie was so happily absorbed in our conversation and we truly felt connected to her. Those are the moments that feed my soul if you know what I mean.  2 generations, 80 years apart, sharing how they see the world. Such an incredible gift to witness. You can’t put a price on those moments. These are the lessons that keep challenging us:

1. Make TIME… that means do it NOW.  Don’t wait. For a month now, I have thought of connecting with my mom's brother who is having some health problems.  Why do I let it slide?! Just pick up the phone and connect. Right now, pause my video and pick up the phone and call that special someone. Don't take for granted that they will be there for LATER.
2. BE PRESENT.  Now I have to be honest here…I redid my video because I had to be real with you! I just got dropped off at the airport by papa JOHN.  He’s always independent, full of energy and nothing seems to shake this 75-year-old Buddhist man. But today was different. He was someone else.  SO, I asked what’s up, why are you lacking energy? “My sister, battling 4th stage cancer, is in pain.”, he said, “All the women I have ever cared about have died.”
3. My last tip; create a special memory. If I had been more present in my surroundings this past week, I could have invited Papa John to coffee or went for a walk with the dogs. We could have visited his favorite spots. (shops at savers and finds the most fascinating books)

As I sat there, so sad for him, I realized I did a poor job this week CONNECTING to this man who was in pain. I am sitting here sharing concepts that I feel are important to act on and then I didn’t stand in that space. Literally I spent 5 days working with my best friend, my creative director of my business, and her dad lives with her. I love this man but I got so absorbed with my projects that I didn't take the time to be present. We get so caught up in our own agenda, I missed a week of connecting to the wisdom and pain of Grandpa JOHN.  Be PRESENT. Be curious and ask questions. I did this in the last 10 min I was with this man. I will not let that happen again next visit. Already, this has me thinking that I am definitely going to be more in tune when I go visit my Mom. Isn’t it funny how the people closest to us, or the ones who seemingly have it all together (Papa John & My Mom) are the one’s we forget to check in with? We must remember that they are living through this human experience too.  

The point is that all 3 Tips represent the essence of being truly CONNECTED.

Make TIME, Be PRESENT and Create MEMORIES.  DO IT NOW. Not later.  Time is valuable. How will you spend it with the TRUE EXPERTS? If we are willing to connect with the older generation, they can teach us the simplicity in the profound.